Experiencing Christmas

Growing up I shared a room with my older sister, Amy, for as long as I can remember. Often at night, neither one of us wanted to get out of bed to turn off the light. We would each try to convince the other sister that it was definitely her turn to turn off the lights. Usually, one of us would end up saying, “I WISH I had a clapper” (the gadget that would automatically turn off the lights at the clap of your hands). We would laugh and one of us would give in and turn off the light.

One year at Christmas time, Amy thought it would be funny to actually give me a clapper for Christmas. So at the family Christmas party she told my cousin and a few of my siblings that a clapper is what I would be opening that night at the gift exchange. They giggled with each other and I was irritated because I was not in on the joke. Then Grandma came in the room and clapped her hands to get our attention and laughter erupted from their corner. I got angrier. I was feeling selfish and feeling sorry for myself. When I finally opened my gift, I threw it aside and said that I didn’t want it. I did not like myself in that moment, but I felt like I had gone too far to take back the angry words. I would not let myself step back and laugh in spite of myself. I let selfishness and pride govern my behavior. I learned a lesson that year.

In contrast, some twenty years later I was doing some Christmas shopping at the mall and noticed that a jewelry store was going out of business. Everything was marked 75% off. I excitedly went in the store, thinking that I might find a diamond band for myself. I had been wanting a ring for my right hand for a while and thought this might be an opportunity to get something I really wanted for Christmas. I quickly found a pretty band that had about 20 or 30 sparkly little diamonds set in white gold. It was perfect and it was a great price. I bought it and hurried out of the store before I could change my mind.

It wasn’t until I was on my way home that I thought about my sister-in-law, my younger brother’s wife, who had lost her wedding ring and had not been wearing a ring for some time. I knew exactly where that sparkly band belonged and it was not on my finger.

My brother and his family came to Christmas dinner that year. Just before he left, he pulled me aside and said, ”You know, my favorite part of Christmas every year is when all the big gifts are opened and we are left with family gifts that are nestled in under the tree. I love to see how excited my children are when something is opened that they picked out. I love to watch brothers and sisters giving gifts to each other.” Then with emotion in his voice, he confided, ”This year, there was another little box tucked in deep behind the tree—a little box with a diamond band in it—another gift from a sister to a brother. I just wanted to say thanks.”

I learned a different lesson that year. I learned that acting with selflessness and love is the best way to celebrate Christmas.